Hi my online journal. It’s been few months since l shared anything on here. I actually wrote this what I am sharing with you a month ago, but never found the right time to put it on my blog. And when putting it on here now, I’m kind of amazed at how my feelings of a shift and change are actually materializing right now a month later. So here it goes;
Ahh this time of ours, I just can’t get past through my weird perception of it. I know that we just woke up into June already, very well know that the winter has already passed, that spring already brought all the green leafs back and spring flowers are already gone. So time does flow and changes are visible and noticeable before my eyes. But at the same time l can not shake the feeling of time “standing still” for me. Like l would be and outside observer, where everything moves and changes and I’m observing it jet feeling like being present in this everlasting, never-ending now.
Past 4 months until beginning of May were very quiet for me here. Consisted mainly of doing some work, being on this long walks with Gaia amongst fields, old villages, small cafes, cooking delicious mainly organic veg food, eating out & eating in, maintaining this body vehicle, hanging out with few friends I’ve got around here, buying and reading books (am very into subconsciousness topic atm), even had few attempts at meeting new people that lead nowhere.
Solitude – it was always my greatest teacher. It always gave me most insight and growth. But this time it is also very different. Being single and in solitude and more or less an isolation for past year – it brought me something very precious and valuable – peace. Inner peace. I can’t express enough how important solitude is for me. And how important is the luxury of having this freedom of time for myself. It created a space for me – a space for new appreciation of everything l have in my life and everything I’m lucky enough to experience. Space for gratitude towards my family and true friends – that l can appreciate in a whole new, much deeper way. I am beyond grateful for all the turns my life is taking to shaping me into this being that I’m getting to know a new. I am surprised at how much I’ve changed some of my old rooted habits. Tapping into subconscious is really interesting field. Love it. And it holds sooo much potential. Exciting times.
While mentioning my family here – guess what – my brother and his family finally visited me here in England for the first time, staying 9 days. It was beyond lovely to have them here and show them bits of my everyday and the beauties of the Cotswolds. Showed them my favorite places, brought them into my calmness, easy going way of living and having time. I think this holidays were very different from the usual for them and I was glad they had the opportunity to experiencing it. May was the beginning of a quicker tempo for me as well. Whiles my brother and his family were here, my bosses were also here both weekends, so is safe to say I’ve got my share of fuller days and a bit of action.
A week after my family has visited me – I went back home for 8 days. It was sweet but short like always. Was really nice to see the family and some of the old friends and also some of the new ones. Slovenian countryside always awakens this nostalgia inside of me, l really appreciate its beauty. But saying that – l also know it will not be the place I’ll live permanently ever again. If l do this right – it will always be my base for few months to visit my love ones and places that are dear to me, but than I’ll be off again. And l know that as a certainty, it is definitely not just a wish.
October (also my birthday month) it’s the marking of my
5 years being in England altogether. I can honestly say that this past year has
been my happiest times ever in my life so far. There’s something so damn
satisfying in being at peace with your being, in this authenticy and being
reconnected to my soul. And also the thoughts of all the unknown ahead, of all
the opportunities, possibilities and future explorations & adventures are
bringing me huge feeling of joy inside myself. There’s this excitement for
everything that is jet coming in my life and l am already grateful and thankful
for it in this now.
I can see some lives of my friends and can already see where it is heading. And l feel like my path is wide open. And this time, somehow – instead of giving me anxiety –this thought gives me much excitement. Just imagine – all of my best days are still jet to come. <3
I know that this “future” only exists in my mind for now, living in my thoughts and also feelings.
But that doesn’t
make it any less real. In the matter of fact – it is essential to see it, feel
it, visualize it in order to materialize it. It feels like l can almost reach
out and grab it. I can very much feel this shift coming, reality change and it
feels bigger than anything l have ever felt before.
And when I’m on my walks with Gaia, laying there in the edge of a field or sitting under my favorite tree – the feeling of what is coming in my life floods through my body sometimes and the future emotions from reality not jet aligned with mine are coming forth almost like waves of feelings coming in and out of my acknowledgment, feelings and experience – usually in such strength that it waters my eyes and fills my heart with pure bliss and joy.
It’s really exciting creating your reality. I mean – we are all doing it – some are creating with their subconscious (habits, patterns, beliefs, thoughts) and others are creating conscious. The difference is usually enormous. It gets exciting when you are taking control over creating your own life, taking care of your thoughts and emotions, making conscious choices, rewriting your belief systems and shattering old patterns. It is definitely not simple, but with deepening your knowledge and willing to upgrade and leveling up – you’re there. Because when you do get there – this is the space & time where miracles happen, life changes and usually whole new person emerges. So to say that I’m excited about my future creations and manifestations is an understatement. And so is my thankfulness for this awareness, perception and the opportunity to be experiencing it all.
I am very certain, that by the next time I’ll be adding my thoughts, changes and feelings into this online journal of mine – there will already be this reality shift – timeline change going on. And hopefully – it will be as exciting and as magical as l can imagine it and as l can feel it from time to time.
Wishing you all love & light ….. till the next time. 😉