RECOGNIZING ILLUSIONS, 2012 – 2018 ~summary~
October 26, 2015
October 29, 2015



My love and I meet on 12th of May 2012. It was an instant connection, with deep conversations, with opening up and allowing to show our hearts to each other without holding back. He was a pure hearted person, a natural giver, a listener and a learner. Hungry for the truth, accepting to new ways and ideas, willing to act on new information. He was everything I needed, and I was everything he needed at that time. We met each other to evolve, to rise higher, to be better ourselves, to grow and learn, and love and thrive together.

After one week of getting to know each other (talking through the nights ’till the mornings, having this overwhelming feeling of deep connection – without even touching each other, getting to know each other’s souls and fears and dreams…). This was very new to him and it was very new to me – that someone can see me – see me for who I am. I could be my 100% of me with this one person. It was this feeling – finally!! I could never be completely me before – I could feel alone in  company of friends and I for sure could not share everything that I was feeling or thinking without being weird or misunderstood. Anyway, after one week of getting to know each other he moved to my rental apartment in small town named Slovenske Konjice, Slovenia. My beloved dog French mastiff Luna passed away in mid June 2012, after 8 years of love, and she took a piece of my heart with her. 3 or 4 months later we adopted our new dogie Gaia (French/Italian mastiff mix). We had all kinds of adventures, were madly in love and were having fun, living our own reality that other people often did not understand. We were watching documentary movies and sleeping for a few hours a night. I will attach this site here – and you can find your own truth. 🙂

I had been working in a restaurant for 10 years, while he was working in pubs and refereeing soccer matches. He was also in the middle of his economic college. We talked about life and global issues. We were quite fed up with all the troubles this planet has – so we were determent to stop being a part of the problem and focus on becoming a part of solutions. We began searching for alternative informations and were hungry about true knowledge, our true history, who we really are, what is our purpose here and so on …

The truth is out there. And this is not the place where I could describe what topics we discussed and what truths did we learn, because half of people wouldn’t believe me anyway.

We learned that we have been lied to our whole lives. That our parents and grandparents and everyone were lied to their whole lives. We learned that it is just an illusion – this lives that many people live. They are driven by their egos; they are driven in a way that somebody else wants them to – to sustain this system that we live in. This apathetic, destructive, selfish, greedy, consuming system of ours – that others prepared for us. We – referring to all the people – (by choosing to live this way) are killing the species of this planet – including ourselves. We were driven far away from the balanced, harmonic, natural way of living – and the ones who suffer because of this, is us. Everything is a lie – the way we eat – why do we eat the way we do? – We were brought up this way. The way we dress (did you know that 80% of clothing is poisoned?) The way we think and react and do things – they reflect “the outside”.

WE have to wake up. There is an evolution going on – and it is the Evolution of Consciousness. We came to this point where there are two possibilities – evolve or die.
When my love and I realized the extent of the illusions that were prepared for us – we decided that we won’t be a part of them anymore. The desire to step away from anything that harms our true selves grew bigger and bigger every day. We wanted to change our lives and to step away from this system – as much as we possibly could.

First off all, we moved. We stopped paying 500€ of bills per month and we moved to my parent’s empty upstairs apartment. We took our dog and my cat and made a new lovely home. Than we tried to minimize chemical input into our bodies (to detox pineal gland), so we stopped using chemical cosmetics, shampoos, I stopped coloring my hair and so on and on. Turned to more natural way of life. I always find my balance in nature.

And then we came to topic – FOOD. Oh boy. I am a big food lover (with my 182cm and 65kg it does not show 🙂 ) and a big meat eater. And I was a big animal lover my whole life. See what’s wrong with these two sentences? Bare on. After watching the Greatest speech from Gary on you tube ( ) and considering everything we knew – we went vegan in a few weeks. We never turned back.
We still eat some cheese from time to time and home chicken eggs, but that’s it. So technically – we are vegetarian (for those who love labels). After 28 years of meat eating – it was not a hard decision at all. It came from a higher place …it came from love … love for ourselves and all the species. The flow of life is the same in all beings … ALL beings. But this is not a place to discuss that. I would just say that the book World peace diet tells everything there is to tell on this topic and that everybody should read it. Than – it just depends on how much you love yourself. 🙂

I would like to point out one book that really opened my eyes. It is – The power of now by Eckhart Tolle. He is remarkable, his work and Life – inspiring, to say the least. He said; “Give up defining yourself – to yourself or to others. You won’t die. You will come to life. And don’t be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it’s their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don’t be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious Presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.” 

When I realized that we are not our own thoughts – but the listener/observer behind – then we become aware. And it is a wonderful thing – I felt reborn. I must say, that reading his books changed me. For the first time in my life – I could really feel my perspective changing and awareness rising. A beautiful thing to experience.

Ok – back to us. 🙂 We have done all this small changes but the biggest change was the shift in consciousness. When we learned about the ways of the Universe and about the frequencies on which we vibrate, we decided to step higher. We were slowly beginning to create our own world and started to remove toxic people from it. We avoid dramas and tense circumstances. We were observes in every situation. We wanted to change our lives.

Shortly after – we quit our jobs. 🙂 It was the end of August 2013 and we went to the Croatian sea side for 2 months. With big plans, which gave the people around us uncertain feeling.

I always said – if you need to “sacrifice” one or two years of your life to change it completely – go for it an do it. And that is exactly what we were doing here. So we were jobless for about a year. We had about 600€ together per month (from previous 1800€ both together) to maintain our healthy eating lifestyle. And we did it. It was not that much of a problem – the main thing was – that we did not eat out any more (and with vegan diet there wasn’t any choice anyway) and that we did not buy new stuff (clothes and the things you don’t really need). We had a lot of time and we were spending it in nature and helping others. We were happy – it was liberating …I felt free …Never did I have that feeling of owning my life before. We were quite busy as well – we were expanding inwards, focusing on visualizing what we long for in our lives. And we also had an ordinary life composed of dog walks, cat cuddling, food and wine, spending time with people we love,  living in the present moment and experiencing everyday.

I always knew (felt) – that there must be something more out of life than having similar routines, paying bills and working your best years for somebody else or in the same place for years and years. I was homesick for the life – I didn’t even had yet. But I knew it was out there – everything that sparks my soul actually exists – it exists for me. I just have to go and grab it. There is no such thing – as dreaming to high or big – that dream awaits for you – for you to rise higher, to become a person that can meet that dream. If it is genuine, true and comes from your heart (soul) it is there for you. 🙂 I feel so good writing this – because I have always felt these things – but they seemed so unreachable … and now, sitting on this sofa in Hertfordshire in the middle of England…I KNOW that anything is possible. 🙂

After the sea side – we focused on searching Live in couple jobs in UK on Gumtree. We had a few calls, but nothing serious. And then one night in November we were watching the documentary movie on you tube called  The garbage warrior.

We had no idea – that the documentary will change our life the way it did. We had no idea, that in few months we will be traveling to the USA to the Earthship Biotecture Academy and actually meet the people from the academy. But that topic is for another blog.

Take care my readers and remember – IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD – START BY CHANGING YOURSELF FIRST. THAT IS WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS – AWAKEN INDIVIDUALS. I will close this up with a quote – that I really agree with.

Enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s seeing through the facade of pretense. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.(by Adyashanti).

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