August 27, 2018
December 31, 2018

AMSTERDAM October 2018


As everyone who is actually reading or following my blog knows by now – I’m writing this for few months back. This piece takes me back to the middle of October, just before October holidays. A lot of life happen till and since October forward, so I’ll do my best to sum it up.

So l did a little note when l was on the airplane to Amsterdam and will include it in this blog. The following was written at that moment;

~I’m experiencing one of my favorite moments right now. Am on the plane to Amsterdam, where I’ve never been before. Just lifted above the foggy England and clouds, seeing clear skies and sun for the first time in a week or more. I adore this feeling more than everything. Am always and still so humbled by it.

Life seemed quite busy lately, not so much work wise, but definitely private life wise. My balance for the past 4 years consisted of 30% active/social/busy life and 70% of solitude/isolation. And in last 2-4 months this ratio turned the other way around. Leaving me with lack of energy as a consequence and off balance. But l am slowly adjusting to it, it looks like my quiet and slower period of my life is changing and transforming. So this few days of getaway came in just at the right time.

October is my birthday month as well and the first half of it was quite wild if l put it lightly. There’s no other way to put it really. ☺Met some new people, hanging out with all this different nationalities ans mindsets, saw the world and realities from others peoples perspectives. Which to me is always so damn beautiful, interesting and in many cases sad…especially for an observer as myself. I think l stepped soo far out from my “comfort” zone, that its very limits are very blurred and are dissolving in front of my eyes.

People are so beautiful on their inner deeper levels and in majority of cases they have absolutely no clue about it. I’ve spent some time with few quite fun and interesting souls this month, even explored my “limitlessness” and crossed my personal boundaries just for the purpose of experiencing experiences really. Won’t really describe the details, because many of my readers could not handle it, but it does most definitely falls under the category of the wild ones.

So I’m quite looking forward of these few days abroad and what sort of adventures and explorations this time will bring. ~

Before landing in Amsterdam I rented the whole flat 20min from city center prior online. Guess l like feel comfortable wherever I’m staying and hostel experiences are definitely not for me anymore. I was staying just 3 nights anyway, since had to go back to England for my working Oct holidays. From the moment l entered the flat l felt quite like home in this foreign unknown city. That is because l learned how to keep my energy/vibration where ever l put myself on this Earth plane now. Took a while to come to this point, but here l am. Carrying peacefulness and calmness wherever l go now. And whatever situation really. There’s very few triggers left that can disturb that inner world now.

First day I came in late, was at my flat at 7pm, settled, unpacked, showered, changed clothes and went out exploring the surroundings. 15 min walk away was the first coffeshop where l bought some goodies and  there was this cute vegan restaurant right next to it. Went for awesome delicious dinner there and opened my online app for meeting people near by. Was surprised at how many people wanted to connect, but l guess that’s the reality of big cities in comparison to countryside England where meeting new people in person and online is quite a difficult task. 😁 So I chatted with few people and decide to meet up with an interesting, calm, intellectual musician type of person, who lived 10 min away and came over with bicycle in no time. Brought some drinks as well, we met up at 11pm. We shared our stories on life, laughed, had deep and serious conversations, just two complete strangers sharing opinions and experiences and broading our perspectives on life in general. Until 4:30 am. Began the night like well known friends and ended it like that as well. Funny and interesting experience. New for me as well, since l would not just meet up with strangers easily like that. But l warned this guy – that if his attentions are anything else than sincere company – that there’s a huge possibility of him leaving the flat falling through 3rd story flat’s balcony. 😋 Cause I can be pretty badass in real threatening situations. I think he got the message. So l took the risk and everything turned out just great.


Second day l head off to explore the city center. sight seeing, walking around, driving with trams, went to Amsterdam lookout tower where l had an amazing overview of the whole city and delicious dinner. Was exploring and playing tourist for majority of the day. Came back to my flat around 7pm, relaxed, and got ready for my pre-bought ticket on trip-adviser for pub and clubs hopping in Red lights district. It was under 20€ and consisted of guided tour of visiting several pubs and clubs there and in each getting first  shots free. Seemed like a good deal and a perfect way for a solo traveler to mingle and meet people and socialize in group. Ohh boy and it was… ☺ Started off in one pub at our meeting point with 2 male guides. And about 20 people from all over Europe and ofcorse free alcohol shots. Free first drinks in all bars we visited actually. So you can imagine people getting really drunk really fast lol. Was a fun night and I’m quite conscious about my ability of alcohol intake in this kind of situations. But was also quite funny to observe how the number of 20 people got smaller and smaller from pub to club since people are not watching their alcohol intake very well. Was quite a wild night, Amsterdam has quite a lot to offer for fun purposes. It is definitely not a city where one could get easily bored.  Even experienced a lap dance from a gorgeous girl – why not right? 😋 Was a night consistent of drinks, smokes, laughs, all kind of talks, dancing, mingling and experiencing new things that just Amsterdam has to offer.



So on a third day a very special soul that I’ve met 4 years ago in Taos New Mexico joined me in Amsterdam. He came a bit later so I’ve had plenty of time to rest my previous wild night out. We were communicating for the past 4 months on daily basis before introducing out physical forms again after not seeing each other all those years. We were quite fond of each other 4 years ago when we first met, that instant intense connection that one rarely has the opportunity to feel and experience, even-tho we were both with our partners there and than.

So this time in this timeline we were both quite anticipating this reunion in physical form after all this time. Can’t really do it justice of putting this into words. The feelings that flushed my body when he came and l went downstairs to open the doors and we said hi and we both heard eachother voices again after all this time and hugged. My human part of being was saying that I’m making it weird by staying in this hug for too long and my soul part of being was saying don’t let go just yet. After him unpacking and settling in the flat and some general catching up we went to get some goodies and to dinner at this vegan place down the street. Everything felt so surreal and at the same time so real and alive. It felt like l know this soul for ever and there was complete openness and authenticity from my side. Bare nakedness of the being, no masks, no pretense and a familiar feeling of coming “home”.

We were talking about everything over our dinner and I vividly remember a moment that felt like an hour of looking into this mans eyes directly into this awesome, amazing, beautiful vast soul of his. It made my heart smile and it didn’t stop smiling. And him – staring at me – observing me with this presence of his, that could somehow see every little and big thing about me….all the magic in me…all of it. It was such a rare gift, see l know exactly who l am and am very used of people not having the ability or levels that could perceive all my layers…and l completely understand it. So when a soul came around that can see, feel and perceive ALL of it in me, it felt like pure magic and electrified bliss. Souls just lighting up. We went back to the flat, exchanging time and space, words and presence, stopped the time and completely forgot where we are. Those moments and us were the only thing that existed. Amazing, blissful, magical fkng moments. ❤ Both so completely emerged in intensity of this experiences.
But eventually time went by and the morning was creeping in. And at 10 am l had to board the plane back to England directly to my working October’s holidays with my bosses being on the property. And he went ahead to Germany to visit his European friends.


It did not end here tho. In November after holidays he joined me here on my “English created reality” for 16 days. But that’s whole another story to write about. Which l will compose very soon (l promise 😊) to sum this year of 2018 up since we are rapidly approaching to the end of it. Don’t know how this year went for all of you, but for me a lot of Life happened this year. And l am extremely grateful for all of it. For ALL the low lows, all the highs and everything in between. See l strongly believe that everything is in exactly perfect moment or form at all times. For our growth and purpose that we came to participate in. everything in universe has perfect timing and meaning, even tho we can’t see it in our linear time. Trust the process – no one said it will be easy, but it will be worth it. I promise.


Love and light…. till the next time…

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