“Relationships are very important. Everything in the Universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exists in isolation. The entire universe is one ecosystem, similar to a spider web – if one part is touched, the entire net shimmers. As a result – every expression of energy, including our thoughts and intentions, ultimately touches and affects everything else.”
On 9th of December we had our booked flight – we were going back home for 10 days or so. We flew from Heathrow airport to Zagreb, Croatia.
Friends and family from home and from England were asking similar questions – “Are you excited about going home?”, “Are you nervous of seeing all the people you haven’t seen for a while?”.
It is true – I haven’t been home for a year and 2 months. But these kinds of questions also showed me – how little do people really know me or how little do they understand my way of thinking.
First of all, I tend to Live in the Now. I don’t over think situations, I am confident that I can deal with anything as it comes.
Second of all – time is such a tricky process to observe. Yes it was a year and something, but my inner “time observing clock” was sensing time – like only few months had passed.
I tried to strip away any expectations regarding how everything will play out. This way – I can’t get disappointed.
My love planned out the whole 10 days – everyday we had somebody to meet up with … Usually I prefer things to be more spontaneous. But I admit that, his rational thinking process was spot on for this short trip back home. I have a LARGE family – and it was just impossible to visit everybody. We wanted to see a bunch of other people dear to our hearts as well.
I believe that traveling has many life lessons to offer us if we open ourselves up to it. I think that the most valuable lesion we can take away from a nomadic lifestyle is learning who my real friends are. Whether friends and family can’t (or won’t) relate to my experiences regarding my “nomadic Lifestyle” or we know that we have started wandering down such an unimaginable different path than most people we know, returning home from traveling/living abroad or longer vacation pretty much guarantees you to be confronted with a broad range of complex and challenging emotions regarding friendships.
It played out somehow like this;
We went to visit some family members and people who we consider friends, people who are important to us, who we love and care for. We had all sorts of conversations, the majority were very interested in what we are doing, how “things” are in England, how did the experience changed us and so on. To some people we were like a mirror – on one side of the mirror there are their lives and the paths they have chosen, and one the other side – our life that showed them all the opportunities they could have … If “things” and choices would have been different (if they would have made different decisions).
It felt very good to step through the door of our apartment, which my mother prepared for us beautifully. The apartment was filled with flowers, everything was clean and neat, very minimalistic with not a lot of “stuff”, warm wall and furniture colors … I felt like I was away for one month tops. Like always, it was a warm and loving feeling of home, whenever we return from our adventures and travels. <3
We also had a get together day in my uncle’s restaurant where I’d worked for 10 years. We had a good time with some of our friends and lots of my family members. It was so good to see these people after such a long time. The experience gave me an outlook on who my friends really are. Some disappointed me by not showing up, and others showed me how everything is somehow different – but nothing really changed. That environment is not my life anymore, and I do get a feeling of happiness when I realize that fact. I love all of them, but my place is no longer with them. My path, my purpose is somewhere else and different from theirs’.
While we were talking, laughing, toasting to our experiences in England – in those few hours nobody (including ourselves) remembered to take a single picture of the gathering. We were so excited and in the Now, that it totally slipped our mind. So I have almost no graphic material for this blog.
The majority of acquaintances we know (and talked to) wish a different Life for themselves. But this “rat race” that people choose to live in is taking away the possibility from them to make a change. Their lives consist out of ongoing brainstorming between working schedule, personal time, family time, love life, countless projects, different lesions that children participate in, sports, socializing with friends/family, building/buying houses, paying bills… I have seen rushing, no time, exhaustion, no stopping to observe what they are doing or where it takes them.
And then they wake up in a Life, which they designed for themselves – but not truly knowing how they got there. And by the look of it – it isn’t pleasant. People filled with stress, health issues, anxiety…not knowing that their chosen Lifestyle is causing all problems.
I know we all choose different paths in our lives, but I always hoped that people seek happiness. That they are seeking fulfilled lives. I miss that “hunger” in people’s eyes – The hunger or passion for something … A passion for truly living their lives. And some of that Lives do look pretty charming from the outside. But the problem is – that I can see through layers a little bit deeper. People distract themselves with new things, with some new changes, with new lovers or children. And I’m not saying that something is wrong with that. But they become so busy in this everyday “obligations”, that they forget about themselves. Their dreams, their aspirations, their ability of creating … a better, more balanced life for themselves (and everybody around them). Maybe it is easy for me to be saying this now – because I was in their shoes and now (in last two years) I (we) did create and manifest a completely different live for me (us) … A Life we’ve never dreamt off.
So once again – I’m not suggesting that you have to do the same as I did, not at all, but I’m suggesting and encouraging you to start listening to your heart/soul and create a Life you long for.
I’m happy to see some of my friends and family members happy and content and full of sparks and love in their eyes, to see they found balance and happiness in a way that they know how. And I am a good friend to those – who are not the happiest with their current flow in life, who know that they want more or something different, but will probably never get it – because they are not prepared to step out their comfort zones. And I love those anyway, everybody is just not on the same levels of awareness and don’t perceive things the same.
So true friends stay with us no matter what decisions we make with our lives and will support us through thick and thin. Even if they don’t own a passport and never take a vacation, they won’t judge your wandering lifestyle and discredit you. And those that do aren’t friends at all.
“Striking a balance between being true to ourselves and maintaining friendships with people with entirely different lifestyles than ours is challenging, but not impossible.”
Many of us have people in our lives with whom we feel a deeper bond with. They may be family members, a sister, a brother, a daughter, a cousin. Or a friend from grammar school with whom we haven’t talked in decades. Time and distance do nothing to diminish the bond we have with these kinds of friends. I think you know who you are in my life and I’m thankful for your presence.
It’s true that friends move in and out of our Lives regardless of whether we travel or not. It’s life — people change and grow apart.
All you can do is to be true to yourself, stay loyal to your friends and be the friend you wish to have. Don’t take people for granted.
What I enjoyed the most from this visit back home – was the nature and places I missed and some animals I wanted to see. I missed my cat (Kat) and was really content that she still remembers me. She was slept by our side for whole 10 days. <3
It looks like it’s not so easy to make true friends nowadays. Like I said, we are here in England for a year and 3 months now, but really have just a few “new” friends that we can socialize with. The one family back in Malmesbury and one couple near where we live now. We are staying in touch with our family and few friends from Slovenia via Skype, facebook, emails, texts. It is always good to hear their voices and see their faces.
But I can openly admit – that I’m longing for the people, who are very open-minded, willing to learn, love to explore, can listen, can observe, are aware, are inspiring, soul searchers, peace makers, healers, artists, light bringers, open hearted … I have already met some of you … and others will come. <3